It was 2020 and as the world went into a global COVID-driven lockdown, Henry Miller (‘25) locked in to lose weight. He grew up overweight, and after countless times in which he was treated and thought about differently by his peers, he knew he had to change.
Societal pressures on male appearance can bear some of the expectations that men/boys are supposed to adhere to, especially those at Oyster River High School (ORHS). These standards play a part in approval from girls/women, and approval from peers. Appearing traditionally masculine is also a deeply rooted component in these standards. Some break these standards, but others let it be.
Wanting to change in physical appearance throughout someone’s high school career isn’t uncommon; in fact, it’s encouraged. The modern term for a usually physical change of appearance is called a “glow up” and according to Travis Faul (‘25), there is one thing that drives this desire to change: people always notice
He states, “For teenage boys, it’s the way that they’re going to appeal to women. There are all these different types of men that women could have, and men try to fit into those types. Oftentimes it has to do with going to the gym and it can affect the way guys look at themselves. A lot of it at this age has to do with impressing peers and trying to conform and not stand out too much.”
Faul put a lot of emphasis on the need to conform, something that many high schoolers struggle with in general, not just with their appearance. Miller’s self esteem was heavily affected when he was younger because of the pressure he got from his peers, to conform to appearance standards.
“It’s uncomfortable to be singled out like that and I definitely say it wasn’t a hostile thing when people are younger, but it’s more just wondering why someone’s different. But as I got a bit older, I definitely got self-conscious,” Miller says. Connecting to what Faul said about measuring someone’s sense of physical attractiveness by the amount or lack of attention they get from women, Miller was also aware of who girls would be paying attention to. Especially since those guys were his friends and fit that specific standard.
Seeing other people have what a guy wants, for example, being looked up to by his peers or the attention of girls, can instill a need to imitate that guy’s style, according to Faul. He recalls, “Throughout my entire life, all of the guys got the same haircut. In middle school it was the spiky hair in the front and then everyone got mullets. Then buzz cuts and long hair. It’s like, if one of their friends is having success with this look, everybody tries to imitate it. Not that that’s even a bad thing, that’s probably just how humans react to things they find interesting.”
Hair is one aspect that many sources brought up, especially in accordance with masculinity versus femininity. Odin Whiteley (‘25), has been looked down upon by the older generation in terms of his longer hair.
He states, “I’ve had the older generation all my life try to disparage me from liking a lot of things that might be considered feminine or whatnot. My dad regularly insults me for my long hair and then jokes that he’s always wanted two daughters.” Whiteley thinks that this may be because the male appearance standards were stricter back then, affecting how the older generation may think about “the traditional masculine look.”
Miller also agreed with Whiteley’s statement and adds that it might be because of the presence of the country’s military body standards. “A lot of guys grow up thinking they should be incredibly low body fat, lots of muscle–a lot of times it’s not even what a girl would want. Not to be propaganda-ish, but our government also can play into it, the ideals they give for men, which is because they want you to serve in the army and the military. Like, especially in the Vietnam era, like telling kids, when you grow up you should want to be a soldier, be strong and go fight.”
A lot of standards for men that focus on the physical also connect to how they “should” be portrayed and what personality traits are the most ideal. Connor Termorshuizen (‘28) noticed that the physical standards often correspond to stereotypical traits of how a man should be like.
“It’s more of a societal norm that people have toward men. They’re supposed to be chivalrous and well presented in society. And it probably goes back to the 1800s where we were supposed to be the man of the house or something, and appearance plays a lot into that,” he states.
These standards are unrealistic and barely relevant in today’s world, according to Miller. Faul backs up this notion and recalls his own experience with his hair. “I definitely have gotten comments about how I have long hair and that it’s feminine. Often it can be outlooked as a feminine appearance to have long hair rather than clean shaven and clean cut hair.”
Whiteley adds on with the division with the traditionally feminine and masculine look and he states, “I think [the standards] focus on similar things. You’ve got physique, you’ve got the way people dress up, so the outcome is different, but I feel like it’s very similar in nature. Physique wise, guys are expected to go to the gym and have muscles, women are expected to be slim. Guys aren’t expected to wear makeup, but they are expected to have clear faces.”
Many of these standards, or at least whether people conform to them, come from everyday media according to Levi Clapp (‘26). He says, “I think the Internet can be a bad thing in that sense, where a lot of people get notions that it’s a bad thing to be different in that way, and which is another reason why it’s good for the people to be out there, that they’re breaking that.”
Faul backs this up, concluding that the media could help by breaking up the standards and allowing more room for difference. “I feel like when I was like pretty young, in especially older media, there’s always stuff about going over things like shaving and like a lot of physical appearance aspects that people don’t really think about as much, but like if you really dig deep into them, these are things that like are ingrained in guys. But over the years, for both men and women, there’s been like a lot of progress on going away from those ideals and maybe allowing people to present themselves differently.”
Termorshuizen has seen people improve their appearance and choose whether the best way for them to be better looking is to adhere to the standards or do their own thing. He says, “I think I’ve seen a little bit of both. I’ve seen it where they definitely are more masculine, like they dress and act more powerful and wear nice clothes, but there’s people who find their own thing to do and they find their own beliefs in that.” The overwhelming majority of the glow-ups Termorshuizen has seen were still based on appealing to the male appearance standards.
Should men be appealing to these standards? And those who do, are they wrong for feeding into them?
Peer pressure is a strong component in both pushing appearance standards and in high school in general. A lot of the world for teenage boys right now is only school, family, and social media, meaning that the community that is grown in those places is extremely influential in how they view themselves.
This is especially important when the majority of the sources interviewed said they aren’t happy with what they see in the mirror
-Hannah Klarov
Mouth of the River 
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